When the night has come... January 11, 2023


 

I know I talked about it a bit in other posts, but my leg cramps are starting to really become an issue.  The last couple of nights I have only slept a couple of hours as my legs keep cramping about every hour and the only way to get them to go away is to get up and walk.  They got so bad last night that at one point I had multiple cramps in each leg and could barely walk when I got out of bed.

I know I don't bitch much about all this crap, but I do get angry, discouraged, scared, etc...  I really do try not to focus on the bad stuff, but it is hard when it keeps you up all night.  I suppose I can't be all cake and ice cream all the time :)  Lately, I have been on edge with the scans coming up at the end of the month.  I am really nervous about those results.  I know I have no control over whether the chemo is working, etc... but I still feel like I should be doing something to help get better.  At times, I feel a little lost on all of this and it doesn't feel like my DR's have anything else to offer other than treatment, but what else is there?

So, I took today off from work as I am so fucking tired.  I guess I need a day off every once in a while and not just to recover from treatment.  So I am taking a me day damn it!

Well, I am going to have some oatmeal and probably take a nap.

I love you all!

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