Two dozen other dirty lovers... January 16, 2023

 

It is the entering the doldrums of winter...  I hate it.  I want to get the garden going in the backroom (a little better than it is), but I just have so many other things (cleaning, moving Maeve, work, etc...).  I suppose I just need to get up some morning early and get to work on it, but the dogs would not like be being in the room all morning during their puppy time.  The garden gives me some little feeling of being closer to nature even during the cold "everything dies outside" months.

As to my health, we are off to NJ again today.  It is the last treatment I have before scans.  I am so on edge about the upcoming scans that I am hoping I can make it there without going ballistic on someone or falling apart emotionally (I am more the anger guy than the emotional falling apart guy).  So when I was really grumpy and short with everyone on the weeks between 1/16/23 and 1/24/23 it has everything to do with the fact that inside I am a screaming little child that wants to get better and is tired of the treatment and wait.

There I typed it, I get frustrated inside.  I don't show it (other than my short temper and frustration) much.  I need to focus on the fact that every week I am here, upright, and able to participate with my family is a gift.  I forget about that at times when we get into this routine.  So I need to break it up somehow so that we don't do the same thing every day and get too deep in a rut that puts us all in this doldrum of winter and treatment.

So from today, including the upcoming 1-year diagnosis anniversary, and the upcoming scans, no matter what, I will continue to focus on doing something nice for those I love everyday and I will KNOW, that I will make it into spring with the strength to continue my gardening projects and start to grow even more things.  I wish I could get the family a little more into the gardening with me.  Maybe this summer with all the tomatoes, etc... I can get Gusty and Wyatt to come garden, he might like getting dirty (Note: make a little guy garden :) ).  I could also give her a couple plants if I get enough going pre-spring.

Ok, time to get at the day.

I love you all!

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