Well, I have been searching all of my days - October 23, 2022

 

So today was bag change day - we hate bag change day, but it is a necessary evil.  I have been feeling pretty good the last couple of days (I suppose chemo on Tuesday will put a damper on that for a short bit).  I am very scared that my liver function will not return to where he needs it to be for treatment.  I hate to say it, but I need that poison pumped into my liver to keep me alive?  So strange what we have to do to our bodies to try and kill cancer.

I am still hopeful that they will be able to do surgery on my liver at some point (not that I am looking forward to another long recovery, but if they can get it out it increases my longevity possibilities).  Either way, I am not jaundice or suffering any liver damage affects so I suppose there is still some time if we can keep the liver from rapidly expanding within my liver.  

I spent the better part of yesterday stoned.  It was nice to just be a bit mellow all day.  It helps me focus on things other than cancer (which is hard as of late).  I need to start figuring out ways to make home more exciting.  I think that I could at least play mini-golf (on the Meta) with Tiffany to do something to help get our minds on something fun.  Tiffany has not been having any fun lately as she is under so much stress with not just me, but her family.  I feel so bad for her and wish I could do more.  I guess I am doing what I can to be as self-sufficient as possible for her so that I am not a huge burden.  The bi-weekly trips to NJ don't help.

My ostomy bag is seriously farting up a storm right now.  We used a sample bad the hospital gave us (might as well get our investment - we paid for it).  It has a filter so maybe the noise passes easier.  All I know is Tiffany would be laughing if she was up and heard all of this.  

Well, time to get the day started (play Oxygen Not Included probably).

I love you all!