The random rants of a middle aged, middle class, and mid-evolution male.
Here is my song for the asking - October 25, 2022
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In the hotel across from treatment center. No computer this morning and hate typing on a phone. Let's hope blood work comes back good and I can get treatment.
So I've been up for a while (since 2:20 AM). Sitting in the man cave and listening to the Kids are Alright During Magic Bus I remember how I used to listen to that song on the way to Tiffany's house on the Chemung County Transit Bus. It was my Magic Bus that got me to her. I was so in love with her, in lust for her, and just absolutely entranced. She loved The Who and I listened to this album (on cassette) all the time because it made me think of her. You wouldn't know it, but this little bit of blog up to this point took me 10 minutes to write. Not that I have a stream of consciousness block, but because I need to let the dogs out and in every 2 minutes because BARK... Yesterday was a strange blur. I ate a lot is all I can say. I did get Minecraft over to a new virtual server as the old CentOS 7 server was no longer security upgrade capable. So there is that. Tiffany ran around a lot (pick up Maeve, food, etc...). She (Tiffany) is j...
It's Christmas time again - If you've read through all this, then you know I used to do these little milestones. Yeah, I'm not doing that anymore. Hell, I don't anything about where I am in the span of things, but I will just continue to persevere. It is hard sometimes, but I get accustomed to a new normal and I keep plugging forward. This is going to be a weird Christmas. Maeve is going to California and Gusty has her family, our family is dwindling, and it is a little sad. I suppose this happens to everyone, but rather than let it bring me down, I am going to focus on all the Christmases that came before and the joy that brought to me. It isn't about today, it is about yesterday and tomorrow. Experiences and hope... It is always about experiences and hope. As far as my health goes, the pump is out of my gut and that has helped a little (the discomfort part), but my insides seem to be pretty messed up. I suppose it is to be expected...
The computer camera does a poor job with the bright monitor light and the darker background. I suppose I don't really care. Things are just things. I have been trying to not do social media or the news. It is strange, because my day had become just constant small bits of time wasted on things that have no actual value. Seriously, now that I am not just jumping on the social media or news sites, my mind is a mess. It wants constant distraction rather than focus. I wonder at which point in my life did I give in to the distraction impulses and stop actually focusing on things that matter. As I think through my life I become angered with myself. I focused on work too much, too much distraction, and not enough focus on the things that matter. As it is I have a hard time with affection towards people (pets, not so much). I have been a closed door most of my life and the more I think about it, my lack of willingness to let mysel...
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