Hovering by my suitcase, Trying to find a warm place... October 4, 2022

 


It's that time of year where I will have a sweatshirt on every morning.  It is 45 out right now, but it is too cold in the back room for me to work - oh wait!  I have a fireplace.  Now to find the remote :)  There, let's see if I can warm it up out here. 

Well, I am kind of tired of having this pain in the middle of my stomach.  It dissipates over the day, but comes back with a vengeance at night.  I think it is because I am sleeping on my side as this morning when I laid on my side it hurt worse than when I was on my back.  I really thought by 5 weeks I would start to feel a bit more like myself with less pain.  I mean overall there is less pain, but I wasn't ready for feeling like this for so long.  I suppose in a few weeks I will wonder what I was bitching about.

So this is chemo free week, next week I start the new regiment of systemic chemo and the direct liver chemo.  Not sure how that is going to make me feel, but let's hope I can handle it like I did the other chemo.  Actually, I dislike the steroid more than anything.  I am going to try and get back to work here at some point, but thus far I am not really sure how I will get through a full day.

One of my biggest issues is that nothing peaks my interest at the moment.  Honestly, I find joy in almost nothing other than hanging out with Tiffany.  I suppose the lack of ability to do whatever I want is bothering me.  I find the struggling with sugar levels to be a pain as well.  I have to get my shit together as depression is not the best place for me to be with all this upcoming treatment.  

Well, I should get to my day

I love you all!

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