How many times do I have to try and tell you... August 16, 2022


 So we got bad news yesterday.  The insurance company has denied the procedure recommended by Sloan.  I hate to think of it this way, but I have to know that the investment in paying for the surgery will have a commensurate outcome in life expectancy.  I can't leave Tiffany and the girls destitute because I wanted 1 more year of life.

Sloan changed the surgery to cryosurgery which is new, less intrusive, but not as certain as just cutting it all out (a little less barbaric).  However, it is more of a longevity treatment than a curative one.  I think the only person who believes I can beat this thing anymore is my family and me.  It's kind of sad that at the end I really just become a number/value on a spreadsheet.  I suppose that is all we really are right, a cost to one group, income to another.

We have to go to NY on the 23rd so we will probably get more answers then, but all in all I am so depressed.  I just wonder why everyone looks at me like I am going to die and other than a sore stomach, I feel pretty good.  I've felt worse to be honest.

I am just not ready for it to be all over and I know that will take time, but much of it will be a struggle on my family to take care of me.  It is all horribly unfair.

Well, I actually have work to do today.

I love you all!

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