I just wanna stop... July 21, 2022

 


I suppose family reading this blog will kind of get sick of me sitting in the same seat every day.  I do the pictures to show that the outside of me doesn't really show that I am sick.  It is my activities, my mental capacity, my nausea, and bowels which don't really show up on pictures.  I suppose it is some of that silent suffering that people with cancer refer to.

In a way I do just wanna stop, lots of things and that could be two songs.  

I have made the decision to go with the tumor removal.  As invasive as this large surgery is, it is my best approach for cure or more longevity.  I will continue to fight.  I will eat well, not drink, and try to be here for my family as long as I can.  And for me.  I do love being alive and the more time I spend gardening the more I realize what I want to do in my retirement.  I want time to make this yard beautiful and grow wonderful things that I can look at and eat.  We have so much room to grow things.  I kick myself for wasting time.  We could have had nice grapes, berries, fruit and flower trees, etc...  I guess I was too lazy, self indulged or focused on work.  Either way, I am not any longer.

Well, it is getting late as I spent a lot of time with the garden this morning.  I am still sitting outside.  74 degrees at 6:00 AM and humid already.  It's been a really dry summer.

I love you all!

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