Don't you know I can't sleep at night... July 24, 2022

 


Do I look tired, because I am exhausted.  Dog up at 4:30 (Nala!) and was tossing and turning most of the night.  Problem is once I get up anytime after 4:00 AM I have a really hard time getting back to sleep.  I am going to try and go back to sleep after I finish this post, but we will see.

The chemo really kicked my ass this week.  I've been tired, weak, not able to think straight, and the stomach issues.  I know that I could be sicker, but I'm also tired of not being me.  That goes deeper than not just feeling strong enough to do things.  I can't find anything that I enjoy doing.  I mean I like going out and taking care of the plants, but you can't do that when it is 94 degrees and blaring sun.  Especially when your skin is sun sensitive due to chemo as well as being the whitest man on the planet.  I can't even find a video game that keeps my interest.  I need an attitude adjustment.

Tiffany continues to be a trooper every day, but I know this is dragging on her.  I wish there was a magical make me better button, but after hearing of the death of another high school classmate (Jim Russo - brain cancer) it just scared me a bit.  I don't think of myself as old and always thought I had 20 more years.  That should seem like a lot of time, but even that would not be enough time with my family.

Honestly, I'm going to try and go back to bed.

I love you all!

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