TGIF - April 8, 2022

 

I have to wonder how many "living for Friday" weeks I've had in my life?  Honestly, I think about how much looking forward I have done throughout living.  I will do that tomorrow, I will get to that this weekend, that trip will have to wait, etc...  It really is amazing how you think you will always have time.  I suppose that is something that everyone faced with mortality does.  The question, why didn't I do that?  

I don't have a lot of regrets.  Taking Tiffany to Europe - big regret - should have done that.  I will do that (sorry had to throw in a positive thought).  The big point here is that when I look back at things I have done, I did the right thing at the time, and I continue to do so.  Crazy large gesture days, that one last fling vacation, or anything of that sort is the tale of a movie, not real life.  The truth is, I have had a lot of blessings in this life and it is important I remember that.  The biggest thing is staying in the moment.  That I have always had a problem with and continue to now.

I think about having cancer - a lot - it's hard not to.  I try to focus on current work, a real future, and all of that; but life has seemed to have stopped.  I go day to day hoping to feel better post treatments, waiting for a sign from my body that I am improving, all of the things that I think all colorectal stage IV cancer patients go through.

I got up late this morning so not sure I am getting on the bike.  I think I might see if an afternoon bike ride sharpens my head.  Yesterday was the first afternoon I didn't have "chemo brain" by late afternoon.  Maybe it was because I was working on getting the perfect VR workroom setup and my mind was busy.  Either way, time to start getting ready for work.

I love you all!