It's 4 o'clock in the morning... damn it! April 22, 2022

 

It is actually, 3:51 when I wrote that, but couldn't help but think about Someone saved my life tonight when I looked to see what time it was.  I loved that song as a kid.  I used to listen to it over and over.  The "thank God my music's still alive" - I know that Bernie probably didn't mean what that line meant to me as a kid, but music was my escape.  Sadness, loneliness, happiness, music was always there for me.

I think I have a vivid memory with a song in it for a lot of items.  I still use music as an escape.  It has always allowed me to disconnect myself from what is going on around me and whisk me away to someplace else in my imagination.  It has been helpful during the first few months of this diagnosis and treatment.

One of the things about me and music is I pretty much listen to everything.  There are songs I don't like, but from a genre perspective I pretty much listen to everything.  I think when most people say they listen to everything, they still have music they hadn't experienced or listened to.  I have had times when all I wanted to listen to was classical, rap, new age, electronica, country, I think you get the point.  

Someone saved my life tonight...  Though this song is really about Elton getting out a bad relationship, etc...  I don't think about that, I think about Tiffany.  She's always pulled me out of the depths and the too highs.  Her and this family keep me grounded.  It helps immensely with controlling my mood swings, my promise of pacifism, and my desire to just escape everything.  

The world can be exhausting and over stimulating for someone like me.  I want to punch the stupid, ignorant, and mean people everyday.  Scream in the middle of a crowded store, etc...  I used to sit in crowded coffee shops on Oahu to train myself to deal with the crowds and the multiple conversations.  

Well enough about me for the day.

I love you all!