March 3, 2022

 I can't believe it is March already.  It is nearly a month since the first DR said cancer, though the tests were already stating it.  Yesterday was a good day and I am convinced that some of the pain in my side is associated with my bad back and the fact that I sit at a job all day.  I tried to be more active.  Road the stationary bike, got up more often, and the sharp pain when breathing was almost non-existent.  I will take the pain free days anymore.

Tiffany is finally getting her stent out today.  I have felt so bad for her as she has been dealing with the emotional and physical discomfort for over a month.  I really hope this helps her relax and that she feels physically better.  I know that she hasn't been sleeping as well and the physical pain doesn't help given the emotional shit we are going through.  I think we would both be happier if we could get outside and worship the sun from our deck.  It really does help both of us.

I have been using the happy light every morning.  It sits next to me as I type this out.  It really does help.  I think about when I was young a lot.  I was outside all the time.  Kind of a Forrest Gump thing...  I was running.  Seriously though, I tried to find something to do all summer.  Between sports or just riding my bike, I was outside.  I would run from my friend Terry's house to my house on Center Street. I would just run, like running from Broad Street by the police station to the end of Center Street at the elementary school entrance was nothing.  I sometimes miss being young, but mostly for the energy.

I helped Maeve yesterday by putting a power supply in her gaming computer.  I love that she is a nerd like me.  I can't wait to see what she does with her brain.  I should teach her more, but sometimes she seems interested and other times she doesn't.  I wonder sometimes if my children realize how much time I have spent practicing my trade to get as proficient at it as I am.  It has been a gift to always be able to just escape into my hobby and be able to do that as a career.

The one thing I regret is that I slowed down on the programming throughout my years.  The industries that I worked in needed my networking knowledge and I deviated away from the programming too much.  I am thinking about getting up early and after I type the 15 minutes here learning a new programming language.  It may help me focus on the future and present.

I read a really good article yesterday about an individual in NYC that had a very similar case to me and his treatment path was similar as well.  He was diagnosed in 2013 and after 6 months of chemo, radiation, and surgery, he is still going strong.  This gave me extreme hope as my blood tests and other tests don't show that I am extremely sick.  Most days I wake up feeling good (different foods have different issues) and I have the energy to do all and more of the my daily tasks.

Well, today's time is up.  

I love you all very much

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