March 15, 2022

 

So not the best picture, but there is a Speckles tail :)

Today is the first day of chemotherapy.  I suppose I should put an exclamation point on that.  I am nervous, scared, and ready.  As I have said earlier (I think), I don't have many other options at the moment and if this is the first step to extending or saving my life.  I am interested in seeing what the blood tests today look like.  It has been a couple of weeks and I want to see if numbers have stayed relatively the same.  Honestly, I have not eaten this healthy since I lost all that weight in 210 or so.

Tiffany, I think, is more nervous than I am.  We are in limbo to some extent and we want to start making progress on my treatment.  You never hear about the waiting that cancer patients have to go through or the stress of just always not knowing what direction you are moving in from a health perspective.  It can be nerve racking.

One of the things that is driving my nuts is how sick/tired I feel at night.  Throughout the day my body fills up with food (I have to eat to keep myself strong), but the gas builds up in my system to almost an unbearable case of bloating (daily).  It makes me extremely uncomfortable and tired.  I want to do more at night, be more helpful, play in VR, etc...  but I find myself sitting next to Tiffany in the living room trying to find something to watch while we both play games.

Yesterday, I didn't take any drugs for discomfort at all.  I guess I saw a little difference in my late afternoon as I felt a bit more bloated an uncomfortable.  I did, move most of my office on Monday, so that may have been the issue as well.  I was up walking for about an hour at least, maybe two.

Well, that is time for today.  After today, I will be a chemotherapy patient.  Still seems surreal.

I love you all.