March 2, 2022

 Finally, we met with actual oncologists and were given some paths for treatment.  We met with both Sloan Kettering and Guthrie.  Their care plans were similar and I have asked that they work together on treatment.  I have a couple weeks top before I start chemotherapy.  It is still surreal to say that.  I will admit I am scared as shit.  The DR said without treatment I would live another 6 months (guesstimate).  What scares me is if the treatment (chemo) doesn't work, I won't be around much longer.

I was pretty depressed last night, but today I am feeling pretty good.  I really do think my back is part of the problem with the pain in my side as today I don't hurt when I breath (I haven't eaten yet either).  Either way, I need to stay active and not let the fear of the unknown get me down.

Tiffany is such a trooper, she is suffering immensely from pain and infection from her stint and kidney stones.  If it was any other time, I would be doing everything for her, but she has been amazing.  I don't know what I did in life to deserve her, but I am thankful daily that she is by my side.

It is funny how all of this puts life in perspective.  I keep looking around at the littlest things and am struck by the wonder of all of it.  My material possessions mean little to me at the moment.  I would give them all away if it meant another year with my family.  I suppose that is the message of all of this.  I had been drawn to things (not all the time) that truly add no value to my life with the one's I love. Cars, technology, etc...  None of it really matters in value to another sunset or sunrise with my family.  If any of you read this, know that I struggle daily with the amount of time that I may have wasted in the pursuit of financial success.  It is a double edge sword I guess as those monies also allowed us to go to Disney World, etc... where we have some of our funniest memories.

Well, that is the morning's 15 minutes.  I love you all so very much.

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