The waiting is the hardest part... June 9, 2022

 It has been an ok treatment week without the garbage that is Oxilaplatin.  The drug was beginning to cause issues with my nerve endings so who knows what other internal nerves it was damaging.  Hopefully, the effects start to wear off some as I would like to touch and eat cold things without discomfort.

The reason for the waiting is the hardest part is though we got good news about the scans, Sloan is reviewing them and we will not hear next steps until June 14th.  So we have some time until we hear about next steps.  I suppose to some that waiting 5 days to hear next steps isn't too long of a time, but after you have been waiting since Jan for diagnosis which took until February for someone to even say cancer.  Then wait until March to see an Oncologist and finally start some treatment, the weeks seem long.  When you are in this, you want data to help know what we are shooting for.  It gets down to two things, extending live or saving it.  I'm driving for the saving, but if we are extending, I want to know that to.  I'll still be holding out for a miracle.

I am looking to next week when Tiffany doesn't have to take care of her dad every day.  It will be nice for her to have some of her time back (she doesn't get a lot of it).  I love her so very much and I can't wait until after chemo and I hope that I feel well enough to make love to her.  I need to feel that passion and love.  Even in the house with everyone here I feel kind of lonely.  Though I have their support, illness truly is a lonely place.  It permeates everything you do and think.  I still have been keeping myself busy and once I start building out the other gardens and the inside gardens (not just ganga) I will feel better.  They keep me busy.  I just wish I had the energy for sustained work.

Well, time to get busy.  Pump comes off today - treatment 7 in the books!

I love you all!