I don't know much... June 24, 2022

 It is nice morning this morning - cool and moist.  The plants like it a lot.  I have been working on the gardens every morning and afternoon and the plants are doing well.  I really enjoy growing things, it is nice to nurture something, watch nature.  I also can now legally grow that plant behind me :)

I have come to realize the cancer is a waiting game.  I know I have mentioned this on numerous occasions, but it really is frustrating.  Do treatment, wait.  Do testing, wait.  It isn't conducive to my personality, but maybe it will help with my patience.

Things are going ok with the family, I know that Tiffany is still very stressed and worried.  Not just about me, but her mom and dad, etc...  It is a tough time for her.  She has lost grandparents, etc... but never immediate family.  It will be hard for her when she loses a parent.  I need to figure out how to help there, but I know from experience it isn't easy to deal with.  We always see are parents as the strong adults that raised us, thinking they will always be around.  It is hard to watch them deteriorate.  I suppose Maeve is suffering some of that with me.

I think a lot about what my happen if my treatment doesn't pay off and how my family will react.  We always feel guilty about not spending enough time or really showing how much you care about your loved ones.  We say it's hard, it is a bit with all that life throws at you.  However, in my case I tend to make a choice to isolate, I pretty much always have.  I spent so many years alone with just "friends" that I lost a lot of my ability to make strong ties.  Tiffany and the kids are about it when it comes to who I will tolerate being around all the time.  I try to be more social, but it doesn't really suit me.

Well, I should get going on the day.

Love you all!