Sittin' here resting my bones... May 24, 2022


 Today's lyric is from my favorite artist - Otis!  I love this song and it is my go to walking around singing song.  Why go to my happy place?  Well, today I get to find out what the result of my post 5 treatment scan.  I am trying to be as hopeful as possible, but I am scared as shit.  When you are grasping at the edge of a cliff, you are hopeful that someone will come along and help you up.  Today starts treatment 6 of 8 which is never fun.  We live week to week, day to day, but there is very little forward thought and we need information to plan.

I have been having a lot more pain in my side as of late and that has been bothering me.  I am still pretty active, working outside, cleaning, and riding my bike.  I get a bit tired by the end of the night, but that may be the fact that I generally get stoned post work.  It doesn't help much with the pain anymore, but makes me not care and hungry which is important because I don't really want to eat in the evening.

Tiffany isn't taking this very well and with everything else going on she is really stressed.  I am not sure what to do for her other than love her as much as I can.  Ultimately, the waiting for information weighs on all of us.

Well, I need to get ready for the day.

I love you all!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Feelings, nothing more than feelings... November 19. 2024

Image
  I really have to get more sweatshirts.  In a couple of days we will be heading back into NYC to get my liver ablated, again.  This is the 3rd time.  3rd times a charm?  I am not sure how I feel.  I spent all day Sunday getting things done outside so I still can burst some energy out, but it leaves me exhausted.  I don't have the energy I had just a few months. I have started another blog, but public - I am not sure why I am driven to do these things.  I have always been an introvert with a need for attention I guess (it's strange, I know). Well, I don't have a lot to say this morning outside of the fact that I am beginning to realize that I spent way too much time in my life thinking about me and it is sad that it has taken me this long to realize that life is about everyone else. I love you all!
Read more

She said, she said, "You don't know shit because you've never been there"... March 24, 2024

Image
 It's been a while since I posted (I say that every post now), but I don't seem to have the morning time I used to and I am not certain why (going to work I guess).   I have been plugging along.  Getting back to the shitty routine of work and weekends, with a mix of NJ travel.  It has been since October since I had systematic chemo and I'm on my first of at least two pump breaks.  I just had liver ablations done (6 hour procedure) and they say they got everything they could see, which tells me they have been down this path before (burn out what they can see, but the little ones are still growing).   Either way, this gives me more time, and I hope they got it all.  I have scans on May 1, so I will know somethings then.  It is all just a wait and see game; which I no longer want to play. The family is doing well (I guess).  I feel like I put everyone's life in limbo, because I kind of did.  I am going to try and get my ass in gea...
Read more

February 27, 2022

 Tiffany is amazing!  I know that she doesn't feel well as she has an infection in her kidney due to her stones.  She continues to take care of me regardless.  In the morning, I am generally able to get around without issue (except for the pain in my side), but by afternoon I am generally really tired.  More tired than you should be from just sitting around.  Eating zaps every bit of strength out of me for some reason leaving me extremely lightheaded.  I try to hide how bad I am feeling after eating as I know it upsets her. I have a lot of hope about upcoming treatment.  I expect to start on chemo as everything I read suggests they won't go after the tumors in my liver via surgery.  What I fear is that if the chemo doesn't slow the progression of the liver metastatic disease that I will get real sick in the coming year.  I had an ultrasound a year ago that didn't show any lesions on the liver and a year later I have several.  Hopefu...
Read more