I really don't know life at all... May 2, 2022

 

Totally different view of the man cave and the Save Ferris t-shirt is no lost on me.  

So yesterday was kind of a wash - I just didn't feel myself and had little to no energy.  Usually a little hit will get me to the point that I can ignore the nausea in my stomach to get other things done or at least keep me busy so that I dont' get depressed.  That didn't work.

I told Tiffany yesterday that I felt like I was on a hamster wheel.  She's on it with me.  Honestly though, isn't all of our lives a hamster wheel as some point.  Get the job, repeat the job for a minimum of 5 days, try to think of something fun to do in between cleaning and finishing the things you put off for five days - then repeat. 

I really have look at life from many sides in my life and I really still don't understand so much why we are here.  With that said, I know that I have loved Tiffany and girls more than anything and that I have done everything I could to make their lives better.  I think I did OK.

I really don't feel like working today.  Other than the paycheck, it holds no value for me anymore.  It is a way to make money - that's it.  I need to get my head sorted, but with two more treatments until I know anything about progression I am going to have a hard time focusing on much of anything else.  

Well - time to get ready for the grind.

Love you all!

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