I want to conquer the world... May 10, 2022

 

Yes, I am wearing the same sweatshirt as yesterday, but in my defense I didn't have it on much other than the morning and right before bed as it was warm yesterday! 

I do want to conquer the world and make them all learn how to use their computers and then give them all a new religion.  I sometimes hate being the IT guy.  Everyone thinks we have a magic bullet or know how to just immediately fix things.  They don't have an understanding that the combination of complex software and complex hardware can lead to complex problems - especially when you put in an operator that doesn't have a clue how to use it.  I mean seriously it is like taking a person that has driven a tiny Prius their whole lives a giant crane and saying, "you know how to drive a car right?  Basically the same thing".

Alright enough bitching about work.  Today starts treatment number 5.  I wish I knew what I am supposed to feel if I am getting better.  Lately, my whole stomach has had pain, but it is because I don't "move" well.  I do move when I have to, but it isn't pleasant.  Having to take laxative's everyday is kind of strange and took me a while to not be concerned about taking it all the time.  The bottle says don't take more than 3 days and the nurse says just take it every day.  I suppose it does say don't use longer than so many days unless directed by your physician (or something like that).

Either way, what I am getting at, is that I feel ok.  I would like to know if I am improving or not, but part of me doesn't want to know.  I guess the trying to convince my body that I am not sick, there are times when I am working (especially physical stuff) that I don't think about the cancer.  It is a good feeling to have something to do to the point that I can escape in the present.  Yesterday, I started setting up the retro TV and gaming connections that will be built into the next gen man cave.  I didn't think about cancer the entire time I was working on it.  When I do sitting and thinking tasks it is hard to get the generally terminal nature of my condition out of my head (most only make 1 - 5 years).

Sorry to be a Debbie downer today - just a dose of reality for me in the AM.

I love you all!

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