How sweet it is to be loved by you... November 20, 2022

 

It really is a different day, just same sweatshirt and beanie.  

Today is World Cup start day!  Very exciting.  I hate to say it, but I wonder if I will be around for the next one.  Let's not talk about that.  

It was also bag change day. We will be off to NJ tomorrow early (7 AM) so that we can get there in time for a last minute MRI the surgeon wanted.  I can guarantee he is going to want me to do chemo for one more cycle (3 months) and then scan again and re-evaluate.  It is a bit of a double-edged sword with me, because I want those tumors out of me, but I also don't want to go through surgery and recovery with them not being able to do anything. At the moment, I feel pretty good.  I am still getting used to being active with the ostomy.  It feels weird and you always know it is there, it isn't like you ever forget about it.

I was thinking this morning that there are a lot of things you learn about yourself when you are smacked in the side of head with the 2x4 of life.  First, I didn't appreciate how much my family loved me.  I mean, I did, but I didn't understand how deeply important it was to me and who I was.  I made dinner (linner actually as we had it for lunch) for everyone.  Shrimp and Chicken tacos...  It wasn't a huge labor of love, but as I was cooking I didn't think about what I wanted or making an amazing taco for me.  I kept evaluating whether Tiffany would like, whether she'd want me to make them again, stuff like that.  I knew the joy that I got from doing things for them, I just never knew how much it completed me.  I wasted a lot of valuable time in my life and I am sorry for that.

Well - I need some breakfast and Bear is barking at me!

I love you all!