Well, I followed her to the station - With a suitcase in my hand... February 8, 2023

 

Was up at 3:30 AM this morning, not sure why.  I was told yesterday that they are going for liver surgery number 2 at the end of the month.  They may be able to get the tumors in one surgery, but did say it may take two.  I am hopeful it will be one.  I can't imagine what it might be like to say that I have no detectable cancer in my body.  Even though it has only been a year (I know many battle cancer and tumors for years and years), but it feels like it has been forever.  I will write more about surgery once I have a date and data - I am certain it will invade every thought moving forward.

Cancer invades everything, you, your thoughts, your family, their thoughts and on and on.  You never forget you have cancer, there is always something to remind you.  In my case, it is the hockey puck in my left abdomen, the ileostomy bag hanging on my side, and the chemo brain.  With all that, I know that I have been able to weather this storm far better than others and that there are some that are so much worse off than I am.  Seems strange to have a sliding scale of cancer suffering, but it is there.

I had come to terms with the fact that I might not beat this thing and I am not going to get ALL my hopes up for a full regression after surgery, but I am excited to get the opportunity.  If all goes well, I will be "recovered" by the end of May for normal activities.  Possibly a summer where I will be getting systemic chemo and able to enjoy some warm fresh air.  I really can't wait to just sit outside with the sun on my face.  It hasn't been that cold of a winter, but it has just seems like it is going on forever.  Maybe I should have started this blog with a Hazy Shade of Winter?

Well, I suppose I should get the dishes done and get some breakfast.  I have all this time this morning since I have been up since 3:30 AM.

I love you all!