Remember when you were young, you shown like the sun... February 4, 2023

 I'm a little baked.  It's 5:29 and I am allowed, damn it!  This is my current puppy situation:

They are such silly girls.  They do keep me company in the morning and they are good dogs.  Sometimes I regret getting them as we always have to find someone to watch them, but then I wave that thought away because they are part of the family.  They are faithful little monsters whose whole world revolves around us.

I suppose I am avoiding the big news.  We spoke with the surgeon yesterday and he seemed like he was ready to go in at attempt liver surgery 2 of possibly 3.  I can't say that I am excited about surgery, but I am cautiously optimistic that they can get all the cancer out of my liver.  Inside I want to jump for joy that I might have a second chance at this life thing.  I am hesitant to get excited though as they went in before with the same attitude.  So I am trying to keep my emotions in check.  The weed helps.

I have so much I want to do out in the yard, but if I get more time, I will have time to do that work.  I also want to put a door out the side (out the spare room closet).  I know I will have to move the current garden, but I thought it would be nice to have a mud-room where the closet is now.  Just thinking.  Either way I want to terrace the knoll.  It would look nice, give us more growing space, and keep from having to mow the knoll.  I want to do something similar in the front.  How wonderful it would be to have gardens all around the house.  So many herbs, veggies, flowers, etc...  Heaven

In four days it will be exactly one year when the first DR told me I had cancer - said it out loud.  The word cancer was never in my tests, I suppose they don't say that on purpose.  They say things like, "metastasis"  which I then have to Google to understand.  Either way, I remember leaving that office numb, driving home crying, I was scared, I was mad, I was lost.  When I got home I realized I wasn't alone and Tiffany has been my safe haven since this thing started.  I know she has all the same emotions that I do around all this, but she has been amazing at focusing.  I wouldn't be where I am with this if it wasn't for her.  Well, and my desire to be here for her and the girls.  I love being there when they need me and helping supply them some means.  It really is my main focus in life (and gardening/cooking) now.

Well, I should get cleaning.  I have vowed to get to the man cave closet today (at least start it).  There is a lot of stuff in there that can make its way to the storage unit or the landfill.  I am such a pack rat.

I love you all!