I'm not sayin' that I love you... I'm not sayin' that I'll care if you love me... February 15, 2023



 
I thought I would share a stare at the UV Happy Light.  It is supposed to be 62 sunny and breezy (boo) today so I suspect I will be outside for some of it.  It feels so good.  I definitely suffer from season depression.

So yesterday Tiffany and I realized due to statements from the oncologist that yesterday's chemo could be the last chemo treatment.  They may be able to get the liver cleaned out and I do not believe they feel there is cancer any where else in my body.  I am trying not be too ecstatic about it or overly terrified that the liver will not be addressable when they get in there.  I would take the two surgery path if necessary, but getting it all in one would be amazing.  With the pump, ileostomy, and all cancer gone, I could get myself back on a road to normalcy.  I will have lots of recovery, they are reconnecting things, disconnecting things and moving stuff around in my insides.  I think by late summer I will be back to my normal self to some extent.

I really can't believe that I could be getting more time with Tiffany.  I know from the way I feel now that if we kept with treatments, I would probably make several more years on maintenance therapy.  However, I want that shit out of me.

Looking forward to the last chemo week for a while - what comes next is worse.

I love you all!   

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