Should I fall out of love, my fire in the light... February 7, 2023

 

So I thought I would get a picture of the puppies this morning as well, so don't be bothered by the bad angle that makes me look like a bald giant insane ball man (I kind of look like someone Tiffany and I pick on for staring at the camera - maybe I should edit the picture to make me look like I have the best plastic skin).

But you can see the two of them in front of the fire place.  This is us pretty much every morning unless it is warm and they then want in and out every 5 minutes which keeps me from writing anything coherent on this blog.  Honestly, most days it takes me 3 dog trips in and out to finish.  I suppose if I started with some idea of what I was going to write about that would be helpful :)

You never know how I am going to feel about writing or what to write about from day to day.  I am trying pretty hard to stay in the moment.  Not think about 2 months from now, etc...  It is hard when all the goal posts of treatment move - "will we do surgery now", "will we do 2 more months of chemo and see if we shrunk more", etc... etc...

I have made some plans to leave the house (I know right?).  I am going to meet the UBC at Upstate's new location to have a flight of beer.  I honestly can't remember the last time I had a flight.  Maybe when I went to HH Brewing with Jamie last August (so 6 months ago).  Who knows if I even like beer anymore ;)

From a health perspective, I am trying to get my sugars under control and have been given a 3rd medication to take to try and help (yes, it is getting crazy) and may be able to get some fluids in me this week to help with the dehydration.  It is hard to keep up as yesterday, I think I dumped every once of water out my bag.  I got to a point where it just hurt to try and pee.  Felt like I had to go, but nothing came out of the faucet.  I know that isn't good for me.  Other than that, I am in wait for Sloan to let me know the plan so we can get on page with them.  I am good either way, surgery or more chemo, as long as the tumors continue to regress and no new growth shows up.  I just don't know how much longer the chemo will have that effect.  I guess there is some thought process to just keep treating and see if the regress fully, but that is extremely rare.

Well, time to get some breakfast in me.  I am actually having spaghetti for breakfast to slow me down - we'll see how it goes.

I love you all!