Came in from the city walked into the door... February 9, 2023


This sweatshirt used to be tight on my chest and belly (back when I was 260+ pounds).  Now, I am swimming in it.  I decided to take a picture in a different direction.  I accidentally did the profile setting so I don't have a clear picture of Groot.  I will take one of him tomorrow AM (don't feel like it right now). 

We have a date!  Probably should have started with that.  As it stands, I will be having surgery on March 15th.  The liver surgeon thinks he can get it all in one surgery, but warned it could be two.  Either way, if my CEA score and the confidence of my oncologist that the liver is the last bastion of cancer is correct, I could be looking at no cancer by the end of the year.  I have so much hope, but I am also terrified.  I remember going into the August surgery thinking we would have progress on the liver cancer only to find when I woke up that they did nothing with the liver.  So as much as I know I will have another long recovery, I will cling to the hope that I will have a second chance at this.

I read about all these folks that travel, etc... while they have cancer, you know they do their bucket list.  I wonder where they get the time, between work, saving vacation for disability time, treatment, etc...  I don't know when I would do a "big trip".  Granted a lot of the folks I have read about recently live in the UK and Canada where they don't lose their health insurance when they take a leave of absence to achieve some bucket list items.  All I know is that if I get through this thing, I am going to try my hardest to be a happier more outgoing person.  That is so hard for me as I let the world bring me down.  I need to read Solve for Happy again and reacquaint myself with the fact that happiness is not blissful joy all the time, but more so contentment.  

I got up late due to being awake a lot last night due to cramps in my legs (off to get fluid today) and a barky Nala.  I need to get around, make something to eat, take meds, etc...

I love you all!

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