Whenever this world gests the best of me... December 4, 2022

 

I am not fearing making it to Christmas or St. Paddy's.  I feel pretty good other than the fact that my stoma always stings and itches.  I suppose that is something I am going to just deal with and learn to ignore it.  I have been enjoying cooking, cleaning, and organizing the kitchen.  I am not sure why I am so obsessed with the kitchen.  Maybe it is because it is the easiest room.  Though full of stuff we use it and clean it (at least the dishes) every day.  

I am trying to feel Christmas spirit. I think I have forgotten how to be filled with joy or wonder.  The real world has hit me so hard on so many occasions that I left the young man who still had a childish like wonder about the universe somewhere on the side of the road.  I know I don't have to come into Christmas with a childish wonder, but I think you understand what I mean.  I have got to the point where I realize I have more behind me than in front of me.  I am trying to dig into those Christmases that were so important to me.  Tiffany and my first Christmas in our home.  The house was clean, new, and the Christmas decorations were a mix of old and new, starting a tradition in our home.  There wasn't anything crazy memorable about that specific Christmas, but I just remember feeling so much joy about us (Tiffany and I).  It really has always been about us.

Anyhow!  I am trying to get my Christmas spirit in gear and I have to make sure that everyone I love knows that I love them.  I should do that everyday, I know, but I have never really been very good at the showing emotion thing.

Well - time to burp the weed and get some food in my belly.

Love you all!



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