I may not always love you, but long as there are stars above you... December 5, 2022

 


I think somedays that even with all my health issues, I am still in better shape than some.  As I sit here typing this, I have energy, I can eat, care for myself, and I am not in pain (well not immense pain, but there are times things hurt, but it is rare anymore).  I take some solace in the fact that I am not at the point of my cancer that I dread.  The uncontrolled weight loss, sick all the time, pain, not able to care for myself.  I hate to put that burden on my family.  I had pride for my ability to care for myself - most of my life honestly.  I like that I didn't need help with much of anything.  Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the partnership that Tiffany and I have and all the things she does for me and us.  My point is that I could be fully self-sufficient.  There is very little I couldn't do for myself.

So I am listening to Christmas music this morning and that is making me nostalgic for the time when I had Christmas spirit.  I would belt out those Christian songs with no concern of who heard me, etc...  I guess "I was singing loud for all to hear".  I don't think I believed so much in the virgin birth of God's child, but still held hope that one kind soul could be born that totally changed the world.  I guess there are those that would say that is what Jesus' did, but did he?  2022 years since the birth of Christ and we go to war with each other, His name is used to raise glutenous amounts of wealth, hate is everywhere, violence, and anger.  I don't mean to depress, but there hasn't been radical change in human behavior, if anything it has become worse.  Lastly, the Christian communities are just profit centers.  Business of spreading hate, fear, and possible salvation for fun and profit.  Beyond the business motivation there is also the cult of control angle.  All in all, organized religion is not about spreading the bastardized word of a savior.  That just happens to be their most successful product.

Ok - no more ranting.  Off to NJ today for poisoning tomorrow...  

I love you all!

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