My sweet lord... December 29, 2022

 

Well, getting closer to the end of the year and the anniversary of the first test.  It was an ultrasound that showed spots on the liver.  I will write more on the anniversary of that date, but for now I remember that I wasn't feeling well at all at this time last year.  I was in constant pain in my side, always bloated no matter what I ate, and was getting tired and dizzy all the time.  Strange, but short of the chemo side effects (and the steroid), I actually feel better.  I don't have the energy spurts I had back then, but I think I really just need to get moving and I will get them back.  I slacked a bit as it got colder and I need to pick something to do inside (the bike behind me, the elliptical in the back room, something).

So things are getting routine around here.  What's for dinner, when's the next treatment, when's the next scan; I need to move us out of this rut, but I am not sure how to do that.  With it being flu/cold season and covid on its way back, I have to be careful.  I suppose if I was single and had no family I would be living a bit more cavalier, but even then I can't be certain.  I am being cautious as I want to stay healthy until the next scan.  I think the results of the next scan will be quite telling.

If things are shrinking than we keep doing what we are doing and focus on hopefully getting all of the visible cancer out of my body.  If things are stable we have to talk about what we do - live like things will just stay stable? Lastly, if it is growing - fuck it - let's get some shit done?

I am just a bit confused as to what path to take, but I don't think there are a lot of options.  Those three seem to be it.

Well, it is bag change day.  Time to go get everything ready as my mouth's dryness makes the Sahara jealous.

I love you all!