Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream - September 8, 2022


 So it has been over a week since surgery and I am doing alright.  This will be the one of the toughest things I have done in my life.  Boot camp, recon induction, major cancer recovery list right up there.  The latter (the surgery) is definitely the most challenging, individually.

As you can see from the time this was posted it is before 5:00 AM and I have been up since about 3:00.  It is so hard sleep at the moment.  I have to sleep on my back (I'm a side sleeper), I still don't know truly if I have to pee or not as there is so much pressure and pain in my mid-section it seems all the same sometimes. 

What I can say is my large colon (which is disconnected at the moment), is in fact active.  I have farted several times and it feels like I have a giant gas bubble in there and possibly stool.  I couldn't pass stool right now if I tried, not that the equipment isn't there, it is just so damn inflamed and painful.  Hell, it took me 2+ days to start peeing well.

Tiffany has been amazing, she takes care of everything.  She gets me out of bed (this is a task), she puts on my socks, and helps me shower and dress.  I never thought I could love her more, but I do, everyday.  She is absolutely amazing, but I will say I would do the same for her if things were reversed.

Maeve has really stepped up and is taking good care of the house.  She is not only tending the animals and her schoolwork, but is also tending my garden and weed plants :)

Well gonna try to get some rest.

I love you all!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

She said, she said, "You don't know shit because you've never been there"... March 24, 2024

Image
 It's been a while since I posted (I say that every post now), but I don't seem to have the morning time I used to and I am not certain why (going to work I guess).   I have been plugging along.  Getting back to the shitty routine of work and weekends, with a mix of NJ travel.  It has been since October since I had systematic chemo and I'm on my first of at least two pump breaks.  I just had liver ablations done (6 hour procedure) and they say they got everything they could see, which tells me they have been down this path before (burn out what they can see, but the little ones are still growing).   Either way, this gives me more time, and I hope they got it all.  I have scans on May 1, so I will know somethings then.  It is all just a wait and see game; which I no longer want to play. The family is doing well (I guess).  I feel like I put everyone's life in limbo, because I kind of did.  I am going to try and get my ass in gear this summer and do stuff, but we will see
Read more

I won't dance, don't ask me... August 11, 2023

That song in not on in the background of this video, but listening to the swing albums makes me think of it.  It was so funny the time I re-wrote the lyrics to talk about Maeve not napping.  I won't nap, don't ask me...  I haven't been feeling very well.  I try not to let Tiffany know, but I have been so lightheaded and dizzy combined with some nasty insides, I just feel like things are getting worse.  It could be my body is sick of the chemo.  I hope that is what the issue is and not that I have cancer in my gut or brain. I am going to try and get some work outside done today.  I bailed on work, I just can't keep my head in the game and it isn't fair to them that I just sit here staring at a screen.  If I am not working they shouldn't pay me. Well, I am going to get busy on the day. I love you all!
Read more

March 6, 2022

Image
 Feeling a little lightheaded this morning.  Still I road the stationary bike for 20 minutes so I am keeping up my trend of getting up and stretching (yoga) and then exercising.  I have been having some pain in my chest, but I think that is just the stress of knowing that I am about 1 week away from starting chemo. The chemo they are giving me is for colorectal cancer, but is associated with prolonging life but not curing my cancer.  I am going to fight like hell to be the statistical anomaly that beats this thing.  Thank God for my family as I am not certain I would not fight as hard for myself as I will for them. It is supposed to be 67 degrees today so I am looking forward to getting outside.  It wasn't nice enough to get out yesterday and clean up the dog messes, but I will get to that earlier this morning.  It is already 40+ degrees outside so I am looking forward to having some windows open today. Squirt is currently sleeping on my right arm. He is such a baby.  I don't h
Read more