It's not time to make a change - September 29, 2022


When I got my first actual diagnosis from an oncologist, he told me I would have 6 months to live without treatment.  That 6 months puts us right here (actually it was more in the middle of the month) at my birthday.  It is the first thing that hit my head when he said it, "I'm not going to see my next birthday" rushed right into the forefront.

My birthday became a maker, a toll gate if you will, of my "I am beating this shit campaign".  So hear we are 6 months later.  12 rounds of chemo (13 now actually), major open chest surgery, and full rectal tumor removed.  I'd say I've won some battles, but I'm still at war.  Luckily, I am a stubborn SoB that does not roll over for shit (except Tiffany, but she has my number).  So we get to this milestone and we move to the next - Christmas, then Saint Patrick's Day - because damn it I'm celebrating.  I GOT THIS!   

I had a good night of rest last night (for the first time since returning home from surgery).  I feel a lot better this morning.  Hopefully, that can last the day (I have some product that will help with that ;) ).  I have a lot of trimming and harvesting to do today.  That is light duty work so I am allowed.  Though my Sativa plants need more time (I will have to grow them in a separate location next season (that's right - weed season milestone - well gardening - it's all part of the "Fuck you cancer, milestone project".  Any way, I have 5 very large plants to harvest - I wish I had one more month to keep the bud going, but beggers...  I tested some of the weed last night and this morning that we harvested early to avoid losing it.  Shit was good...  my planting tags got mixed up so it is either Blueberry 1 or 2 or Bruce Banner.  At some point I don't really care...  I just want it available and since it cost me nothing but water (and that came from a rain barrel) - I'll take it.  

Tiffany continues to be the wonderful unconditional wife, best friend, etc... that anyone could ask for.  She fell asleep cuddled up to me the night before last and when I woke up and she was there sleeping I felt so at peace with her there resting with me.  It really was euphoric.  In all this craziness, her acts of love and devotion are all the medicine I need sometimes.

Well, off to make some food

I love you all! 

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