If you leave, don't leave now... July 8, 2023


 Yes, I have a giant box behind me.  It is a new grill/smoker.  I pulled the trigger on a Traeger.  I want to make some smoked meat and get to grilling again.  It has been a while since I didn't really use the other grills last summer.  I had been afraid to make big purchases due to "what time I have left", but I am going to beat this shit just like chemo is beating my ass today.

It is difficult to buy things as I have been trying to sit on money for Tiffany's sake.  I get worried that I will go down hill fast (sometimes) and I don't want to burden her with too much debt that eats away at her retirement coverage.  From my reading it is pretty common for cancer patients to avoid making large purchases for those very reasons.

Cancer kind of puts your life on hold and in my case the bowel issues don't help with "living normal", but I think they are getting better (even though I shit myself on Wednesday - badly).  I want to live life, but I don't know what to do.  For the last 10 years or so it has been work, work, work with the occasional concert trip.  There was also a really good Disney trip for our 20th anniversary that could have only been improved if Gusty came with us, but there is no one to take care of the dogs (the babies :) ).  There has to be someone that stays with them and that will be difficult now that she has dogs of her own.

It is funny that I feel like Tiffany and I have to travel, but we are also just so comfortable being home.  As long as we are together I am in the right place.

Well, I am going to see what I got myself into with this grill.

I love you all! 

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