Highway run into the midnight sun... June 13, 2023

 

Things are going ok and I probably should write more.  I've been struggling to get up earlier (not sure if I am tired or just depressed).  Considering I haven't posted since the 9th, I would say I am slacking.  The return to chemo wasn't as bad as I expected and maybe it takes some time to build up in your system.  I suppose to that maybe I have less cancer as well?  Either way, I feel ok.  I hate to think that I am becoming numb to the affects of my chemo, but I suppose that is a possibility.  I am pretty numb to a lot of things and I think that shows unfortunately.

I am back at work half days and the routine is good for me, but I really don't want to go.  I kind of want to stay home and veg, play games, work on fun tech, and be with Tiffany and the girls.  Speaking of the girls, Maeve made a really tasty pasta dish yesterday.  I just tried the sauce and the pasta (not the chicken), but it was really good.  I will have to make that.

I am still really thin and kind of worried that I can't really gain a lot of weight.  I have been eating WAY TOO MUCH JUNK FOOD because of the ganga and still don't have a lot of weight to show for it.  I suppose the work I do in the yard on the weekend off-sets the gain.  It does also seem that beer adds more weight than sugar.  I say this as beer was my go-to evening treat pretty much every night of the week.  And speaking of drinking, I am getting worried about Tiffany.  She seems so stressed or depressed about things, I think I am going to get her off the couch for some exercise (Wii or Meta) and see if that helps.  I wish I had my morning energy in the evening as well, but I tend to start to get tired around 7:30ish.

I was mentioning yard work and I got a lot done on Sunday.  Was out early trimming the trees, then I took a break and had breakfast until a little later (can't be driving the tractor at 7 AM now that I have neighbors).  So I trimmed up 4 trees and a lilac bush, mowed, got some of my indoor plants outside, and helped mow up the lawn (did the dog run).  Unfortunately, I broke the weed trimmer so I won't have another one of those until Monday the 19th.  Reading that last paragraph, I sound a bit like a real boy :)

And for fun, here is the purple lupine in the side yard box:


And the yard this morning:



Well, I should eat, clean up, and get ready for work.

I love you all!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Feelings, nothing more than feelings... November 19. 2024

Image
  I really have to get more sweatshirts.  In a couple of days we will be heading back into NYC to get my liver ablated, again.  This is the 3rd time.  3rd times a charm?  I am not sure how I feel.  I spent all day Sunday getting things done outside so I still can burst some energy out, but it leaves me exhausted.  I don't have the energy I had just a few months. I have started another blog, but public - I am not sure why I am driven to do these things.  I have always been an introvert with a need for attention I guess (it's strange, I know). Well, I don't have a lot to say this morning outside of the fact that I am beginning to realize that I spent way too much time in my life thinking about me and it is sad that it has taken me this long to realize that life is about everyone else. I love you all!
Read more

She said, she said, "You don't know shit because you've never been there"... March 24, 2024

Image
 It's been a while since I posted (I say that every post now), but I don't seem to have the morning time I used to and I am not certain why (going to work I guess).   I have been plugging along.  Getting back to the shitty routine of work and weekends, with a mix of NJ travel.  It has been since October since I had systematic chemo and I'm on my first of at least two pump breaks.  I just had liver ablations done (6 hour procedure) and they say they got everything they could see, which tells me they have been down this path before (burn out what they can see, but the little ones are still growing).   Either way, this gives me more time, and I hope they got it all.  I have scans on May 1, so I will know somethings then.  It is all just a wait and see game; which I no longer want to play. The family is doing well (I guess).  I feel like I put everyone's life in limbo, because I kind of did.  I am going to try and get my ass in gea...
Read more

February 27, 2022

 Tiffany is amazing!  I know that she doesn't feel well as she has an infection in her kidney due to her stones.  She continues to take care of me regardless.  In the morning, I am generally able to get around without issue (except for the pain in my side), but by afternoon I am generally really tired.  More tired than you should be from just sitting around.  Eating zaps every bit of strength out of me for some reason leaving me extremely lightheaded.  I try to hide how bad I am feeling after eating as I know it upsets her. I have a lot of hope about upcoming treatment.  I expect to start on chemo as everything I read suggests they won't go after the tumors in my liver via surgery.  What I fear is that if the chemo doesn't slow the progression of the liver metastatic disease that I will get real sick in the coming year.  I had an ultrasound a year ago that didn't show any lesions on the liver and a year later I have several.  Hopefu...
Read more