Another night slowly closes in... June 4, 2023

 

So I wanted to write more yesterday, I just got a little too busy.  I got some done, but anymore, my muscles are getting really sore.  It may that I did so little physical activity after the last surgery.  With the bag and then getting sick, I didn't really get moving as much as I am now.  I am really concerned that I am wasting away.  Imagine what it would have been like if I didn't have the weight to give to this mess.  So I suppose it was a good thing that I was carrying a bit more weight on me than I should have.  This may also be why I may want to get more weight on me now for when the cancer eventually wastes me away (might give me more time).

I have a hard time figuring out whether the being active is helping me or not.  I suppose that exercise is always good, but then I feel so damn tired and lightheaded.  I am going to stick with keeping active through the summer in the hopes that doing so helps.  I was active during the very first chemo and that round of chemo is why I am still around so I am going to try and keep up with the activity level.

There are days, like today, that I am tired and I want to sit around all day or at least I do right now.  The problem is that I then get stoned, eat too much, and then feel like shit and want to do physical items, but I don't have the energy for it.  So today, I will do the dishes, make some breakfast, go to Lowe's, try and get some work done outside, and maybe feel like I accomplished something this weekend.  I also have to get some work done for work, so there is that as well.

Tomorrow will be my first day back in the office since early March.  I risk Covid infection every time I leave the house, but work just seems the most likely location for infection.  However, I can't run around forever avoiding all human contact other than my wife and kids.  I mean I can, but at some point I will want to go somewhere with Tiffany and it is hard to make a case for not coming into work, but going to brunch, etc...

All in all, I guess I could be in a worse place.  I do still have the energy to work outside and I generally feel ok, not great, but OK.  I suppose I am only 2.5 months out of major surgery and I am outside carrying large rocks, digging, landscaping, and gardening.  All good things.  

Well, I should get to making some food (not that I am hungry).  Maybe I will just have a bowl of cereal and eat later after I have worked up an appetite. 

I love you all!

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