Another night slowly closes in... June 4, 2023

 

So I wanted to write more yesterday, I just got a little too busy.  I got some done, but anymore, my muscles are getting really sore.  It may that I did so little physical activity after the last surgery.  With the bag and then getting sick, I didn't really get moving as much as I am now.  I am really concerned that I am wasting away.  Imagine what it would have been like if I didn't have the weight to give to this mess.  So I suppose it was a good thing that I was carrying a bit more weight on me than I should have.  This may also be why I may want to get more weight on me now for when the cancer eventually wastes me away (might give me more time).

I have a hard time figuring out whether the being active is helping me or not.  I suppose that exercise is always good, but then I feel so damn tired and lightheaded.  I am going to stick with keeping active through the summer in the hopes that doing so helps.  I was active during the very first chemo and that round of chemo is why I am still around so I am going to try and keep up with the activity level.

There are days, like today, that I am tired and I want to sit around all day or at least I do right now.  The problem is that I then get stoned, eat too much, and then feel like shit and want to do physical items, but I don't have the energy for it.  So today, I will do the dishes, make some breakfast, go to Lowe's, try and get some work done outside, and maybe feel like I accomplished something this weekend.  I also have to get some work done for work, so there is that as well.

Tomorrow will be my first day back in the office since early March.  I risk Covid infection every time I leave the house, but work just seems the most likely location for infection.  However, I can't run around forever avoiding all human contact other than my wife and kids.  I mean I can, but at some point I will want to go somewhere with Tiffany and it is hard to make a case for not coming into work, but going to brunch, etc...

All in all, I guess I could be in a worse place.  I do still have the energy to work outside and I generally feel ok, not great, but OK.  I suppose I am only 2.5 months out of major surgery and I am outside carrying large rocks, digging, landscaping, and gardening.  All good things.  

Well, I should get to making some food (not that I am hungry).  Maybe I will just have a bowl of cereal and eat later after I have worked up an appetite. 

I love you all!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

She said, she said, "You don't know shit because you've never been there"... March 24, 2024

Image
 It's been a while since I posted (I say that every post now), but I don't seem to have the morning time I used to and I am not certain why (going to work I guess).   I have been plugging along.  Getting back to the shitty routine of work and weekends, with a mix of NJ travel.  It has been since October since I had systematic chemo and I'm on my first of at least two pump breaks.  I just had liver ablations done (6 hour procedure) and they say they got everything they could see, which tells me they have been down this path before (burn out what they can see, but the little ones are still growing).   Either way, this gives me more time, and I hope they got it all.  I have scans on May 1, so I will know somethings then.  It is all just a wait and see game; which I no longer want to play. The family is doing well (I guess).  I feel like I put everyone's life in limbo, because I kind of did.  I am going to try and get my ass in gear this summer and do stuff, but we will see
Read more

I won't dance, don't ask me... August 11, 2023

That song in not on in the background of this video, but listening to the swing albums makes me think of it.  It was so funny the time I re-wrote the lyrics to talk about Maeve not napping.  I won't nap, don't ask me...  I haven't been feeling very well.  I try not to let Tiffany know, but I have been so lightheaded and dizzy combined with some nasty insides, I just feel like things are getting worse.  It could be my body is sick of the chemo.  I hope that is what the issue is and not that I have cancer in my gut or brain. I am going to try and get some work outside done today.  I bailed on work, I just can't keep my head in the game and it isn't fair to them that I just sit here staring at a screen.  If I am not working they shouldn't pay me. Well, I am going to get busy on the day. I love you all!
Read more

March 6, 2022

Image
 Feeling a little lightheaded this morning.  Still I road the stationary bike for 20 minutes so I am keeping up my trend of getting up and stretching (yoga) and then exercising.  I have been having some pain in my chest, but I think that is just the stress of knowing that I am about 1 week away from starting chemo. The chemo they are giving me is for colorectal cancer, but is associated with prolonging life but not curing my cancer.  I am going to fight like hell to be the statistical anomaly that beats this thing.  Thank God for my family as I am not certain I would not fight as hard for myself as I will for them. It is supposed to be 67 degrees today so I am looking forward to getting outside.  It wasn't nice enough to get out yesterday and clean up the dog messes, but I will get to that earlier this morning.  It is already 40+ degrees outside so I am looking forward to having some windows open today. Squirt is currently sleeping on my right arm. He is such a baby.  I don't h
Read more