Well, I was born in a small town... April 7, 2023

 

My picture looks kind of scary.  Maeve moved the monitor a while back and it seems to close to me.

We are finally home.  I am dragging some liver drains with me, but it was nice to sleep in my own bed.  The important things however, were seeing my daughter (still need to see Gusty), getting Tiffany home where she can relax, seeing my puppies and my kitties.  As much as I love the kitties, I have too much hardware in me right now for them to be handing all over me (and I was extremely shaky leg restless tired yesterday).

So I left home on March 13th due to the snowstorm to get to NYC for surgery.  I returned home finally on April 6th.  24 days away from home.  It has been a long time since I have been away from my loved ones that long.  I don't think Tiffany has ever been gone that long.  The kids have definitely not been away from both of us that long ever.

The dogs don't like the smell of the liver drains, I can understand that.  Bear is out here in the back room with me, but leery to get too close because of the smell.

As far as my health, I am not too good.  I am extremely thin and still having a hard time eating.  I find myself forcing food into my stomach as I just don't feel like eating.  I'm writing this off to my stomach shrinking when I was not doing so well with the ileostomy.  I have added Youngevity Beyond Tangy back to my diet (as of this morning) to see how that goes with giving me some energy and making me feel better.  I am currently half way through a banana (1/2 banana and some peanut butter) and a small bowl of white rice with shoyu and I could stop eating due to feeling full right now.  I need to try and get my small meals up to about 2 to 300 calories per meal as if I do 6 of them a day I will be between 1500 and 1800 calories a day.  I need to get there as you can't tell in my sweat shirt, but there is little left of me.

From a cancer perspective, the right side of my liver only had one active tumor per pathology.  All other were dead and the active tumor was only .2cm.  This means the chemo was working well.  The current plan is to put me back on chemo as soon as I am healthy enough to handle it and then get the other side of the liver at the end of the summer.  So I have a couple of months to get this body back to the point that it is surgery ready (or at least chemo ready).

I will be honest, at this time, I don't feel good.  I feel like there is something wrong with my digestive system and I fear that there are tumors hiding in my small intestine (though they don't see anything on scans).  I suspect I will spend the rest of my life scared that every new ache, pain, change, is cancer.

However, I am still confident and fighting to beat this shit.  Seeing how being away for the time we were affected Maeve alone makes me need to kick this fight up a notch.

Well, I hope this is comprehensible.  I have been worried about my ability to communicate lately.

I love you all!