February 26, 2022

 So I got up and have been keeping myself busy this morning.  It helps with keeping my mind in the present.  I have all these projects (single board computing) that I wanted to do in retirement (I have been collecting them over the years).  AI Camera, robots, Arduino kits, etc...  I really need to start doing them as it may help keep my mind off from the shit.

I have to say I almost skipped writing anything today as I am on a roll in my man cave cleaning and organizing.  It is such a mess.  I am pretty damn stoned as well (yes, I know it is 7:34 AM and I have been stoned since 6:00 AM - you try dealing with this shit).  Either way, I feel ok (other than the fucking cramp in my side!!!).

I was playing with Bear a few minutes ago - she needed her tummies.  She doesn't leave my side most of the morning.  I think she has known I am sick as she has been guarding me for some time while I worked out here.  She is such a good dog, actually both her and Nala are.  

It is funny how when your life is put into perspective that you start realizing so many of the little things.  All the large questions seem to become the trivial items.  The simple act of rubbing my dogs stomach becomes a focus on the difference that her hair feels between her stomach and her back.  The gentle nuzzling she does when you hug her.  You didn't take these things for granted, you just didn't realize their importance.  

I feel bad for not staying in the present more.  I was always focused on the next day, week, year... I wonder how many of the really important things I missed.

I love you all - always.

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