February 15, 2022

 Spent most of Valentine's day in the hospital for the liver biopsy.  Tiffany and I have never really celebrated the day as every day with Tiffany is Valentine's day.  I'm not joking about that.  She is a wonderful woman, selfless, and caring.  There is a line in Family Man, "You see, you're a better person than I am.  And it made me a better person to be around you"; this line describes me and Tiffany.  She is a better person than I am, and she makes the best in me come out.  I love her so fucking much... 

I have been doing colonoscopy prep and it is killing my insides.  I am so crampy this morning at 4 AM (need to finish my prep).  I had quite a bit of blood in my first BM of the morning (TMI?) and that scares me.  I'd had some spotting and what I thought were blood in my stool before, but this was a bit of blood.  Quite a different thing for me.  I am still holding out hope for something other than a cancer diagnosis.

Tiffany is under so much stress and I wish I could help more.  Not only does she have to prop me up and put on a good front for me, she is in a lot of pain due to a stint from a kidney stone.  Now Nala has blood in her urine and probably needs to go to the vet.  I am not sure how much more she can take and I am worried about her.

I am tired this morning and need to run back to that room due to prep so I am cutting this short.  I love you Tiffany, Gusty, and Maeve so very much.  

I decided to finish up a little after 2nd part of my colonoscopy prep.  I know I have told you Tiffany how much I love you, and I can't tell you enough.  We always say we have been together lifetime after lifetime and I think you should know that I could live a million lifetimes with you and still have not loved you enough to make up for the love you have given me.  

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