February 18, 2022

Yesterday (Thursday) was a good day.  I was a little sad in the morning and I know Tiffany was as well.  It is hard on my to get all the finance items around, discuss death benefits, life insurance, etc...  but it needs to be done as painful as it is.  As I said in the first post, taking care of Tiffany is my primary focus.  It always has been.  I put on a good face yesterday, laughed at some movies, worked most of the day, and it was good.  Tiffany seemed less depressed.  I know that at night after I go to bed she is probably suffering a bit and I wish there was something I could do for her.

I have been moving pictures to an external drive again yesterday and it is so hard not just to look through every one (there are so many duplicate folders as I have tried to make sure I didn't lose any).  I have had a good life and I should be extremely happy about that.  I'm not ready to be done yet, but I know that I have helped people, loved my family the best I could, and have had more in life than many.  I have been blessed.

I miss teaching, it was a rewarding job, but I know that we would have never been able to have the things we had the last 10 years nor would Tiffany been able to retire.  Her retiring has been very good for the house.  I know that she misses being out of the house at times and would appreciate the socialization that work afforded.  I think she is like me sometimes and that work is about all the socialization we need, but you still need some.  We had started trying to do stuff on the weekends with select friends, but then Covid came into the picture and locked us home.  I am still surprised that neither of us every got Covid nor did any of the kids.  I wonder if we could have truly stifled the pandemic if we shut everything down.  The problem with our world is also one of it's better things - our interconnectivity.  If our economies were different, maybe, but the wealthy would have never been able to continue to pay staff with no product delivery.  The idea of life's necessity having monetary value causes the need to have a continued work force.  I understand how it works, it keeps society moving, keeps people working, feeds the machine.  Just wonder if we could have a world with universal basic income - would people still work for the better of society if all their needs were met.  I am hopeful that they would, but the behavior of individuals during the pandemic doesn't give me hope.

I suppose the last paragraph shows that I can think about something other than having cancer.  

Well my 15 minutes are up today.  Going to have lunch with my friend Jamie.  He is the only one that knows outside of my family circle and two people at work.  Jamie has been a good ear and I have appreciated his friendship over many years.

I love you all so very much.