I can think of younger days when living for my life... September 30, 2023


 Well my 56th has come and gone.  I was a bit depressed yesterday, I didn't realize it until later.  I am getting scared every time I hit some future date.  I guess I should be happy that I have had this time to be with my wife and kids.  I think they know how much I love them.  

I will be honest, I don't want to die.  Don't get me wrong, everybody dies, I know this.  What I don't want is to die so young.  I want to see Gusty and Maeve grow up more, I want to get to do some things with Tiffany that we couldn't do.  It is difficult to make plans when you have treatment every two weeks.  You could squeeze things in, but it doesn't really work well.  Generally, I am sick or just yucky.  It doesn't help that my fucking bowels are a wreck either.

I suppose enough woe is me.  

My birthday was good.  I worked (sort of) and spent a bit of time trying to clean up this mess in my office, but there just isn't enough room out here to get things cleaned up anymore so I am going to need to do some more purging.  I have been doing ok at that and have got a lot of stuff out of the house.

Well, I have to get ready to go have blood drawn.

I love you all!

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