The random rants of a middle aged, middle class, and mid-evolution male.
It ain't the way you move... September 7, 2023
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So here we are... September 7th. How time flies by. I have been somewhat lazy about writing, but it is getting to the point where fall is setting in and my outside time (with light) is dropping rapidly. I need to get out there so I can get ready for work, but I hate that it is dark.
So I've been up for a while (since 2:20 AM). Sitting in the man cave and listening to the Kids are Alright During Magic Bus I remember how I used to listen to that song on the way to Tiffany's house on the Chemung County Transit Bus. It was my Magic Bus that got me to her. I was so in love with her, in lust for her, and just absolutely entranced. She loved The Who and I listened to this album (on cassette) all the time because it made me think of her. You wouldn't know it, but this little bit of blog up to this point took me 10 minutes to write. Not that I have a stream of consciousness block, but because I need to let the dogs out and in every 2 minutes because BARK... Yesterday was a strange blur. I ate a lot is all I can say. I did get Minecraft over to a new virtual server as the old CentOS 7 server was no longer security upgrade capable. So there is that. Tiffany ran around a lot (pick up Maeve, food, etc...). She (Tiffany) is j...
It's Christmas time again - If you've read through all this, then you know I used to do these little milestones. Yeah, I'm not doing that anymore. Hell, I don't anything about where I am in the span of things, but I will just continue to persevere. It is hard sometimes, but I get accustomed to a new normal and I keep plugging forward. This is going to be a weird Christmas. Maeve is going to California and Gusty has her family, our family is dwindling, and it is a little sad. I suppose this happens to everyone, but rather than let it bring me down, I am going to focus on all the Christmases that came before and the joy that brought to me. It isn't about today, it is about yesterday and tomorrow. Experiences and hope... It is always about experiences and hope. As far as my health goes, the pump is out of my gut and that has helped a little (the discomfort part), but my insides seem to be pretty messed up. I suppose it is to be expected...
I really haven't written in a long time. What has changed, I want to say so much, but it really isn't. Chemo has kicked the shit out of my insides, I still have cancer, and I have to flip the Peter, Paul, and Mary album :) You know, I want to complain, but I am mobile, working, able to spend time with and provide for my family. Am I getting weaker, yep, but I am trying to build my strength back. Outside of the bad stuff, everyday something happens that I wouldn't want to miss. I learn something, I see my children and grandchildren grow up just a little more, and I hear my wife's voice say I love you. I have begun to realize that not one material thing that I have matters in comparison to the time I have to watch and hear those that I love. I suppose that anyone when faced with their own mortality gets to the same conclusion that none of daily grind matters except for the time we have with others. This is hard for me as ...
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