At times I just don't know. How you could be anything but beautiful... October 25, 2023


 

I shouldn't stare at the camera!  Well, got back from NJ yesterday around 4:00.  The oncologist gave me a break from systematic chemo until after the holidays.  I suppose that is good news.  He says he can only see one tumor on the CT scan.  This is good news at least for some longevity.  My blood tests are good etc...

I suppose I should stop feeling the heavy weight of doom concerning my longevity and get back to my "I can beat this" thought process. If anything, I will make it through these holidays and into the next year.  I used to have these short term milestones and I am thinking maybe I need to start spreading them out a bit.  Why? Because my ass ain't leaving anytime soon.  I keep thinking I should be doing more, but what is that and what does that look like.  You always hear that saying, "live like you were dying".  Well, people that are dying need regular health care, like pump maintenance, etc...  You actually want to live like your living.  You heard that here first - live is not about jumping out of a plane one time or climbing that peak you always said you would.  Living is providing for your family, spending as much time as you can loving them, and showing them that in the face of a mound of shit you can walk out clean and still be the same person.  Living isn't always fun, living isn't always grand, but it is wonderful.

Well, I need to get busy.

I love you all!

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