A man decides after seventy years... November 18, 2023


 I wasn't going to make an entry today.  I know that I am suffering from depression, but I don't know how to fix it.  It's not just the weather, but everything.  I am so tired of the 3 month and we will see game.  I know I should be ecstatic that I am alive, etc., but not knowing about where I am at with the cancer is scary.  

Now that I have typed that, I have to think about the fact that we never really know how much time we have left.  We expect that we have a lot more.  When we are young we think we have forever, but it changes as you age, then you get cancer and you are confronted with your own mortality.  It is funny how you just want to live once you know for certain you won't always be alive.

Don't get me wrong, I am still positive and happy that I can take care of my family and I am not really sure what I would be doing differently if I didn't have cancer (worry less I guess).

Well, trying not to be depressed today (looking at the cute toys Maeve got me yesterday helps).

I love you all! 

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