Please don't talk about love tonight... December 29, 2023


 Sorry about the disco headline, but that what was stuck in my head this morning.  You know I think I have been pretty good about all this.  As good as I can be.  Up until yesterday, I have kept my cool around all the medical folks, but I am just trying to get a colonoscopy and it is so hard to get care.  I don't want to wine and bitch about how I feel, but my gut is a fucking wreck.  I know that I get stoned and eat too much at times, but the constant cramp, gas bubbles, and needed to defecate 10 times a day is getting a little bit much.

I just want to make sure I don't have a blockage or worse.  I feel disconnected from NYC/Sloan and Guthrie seems like they are barely capable of keeping the lights on.  And here I am stuck in the middle again (that will probably be tomorrow's title now).

Things are rough, I am not going to lie.  My insides feel fucked up, Tiffany's father is not well and worse, he is depressed (IMHO) and doesn't have a good support structure at home.  I don't know what thing I did in the universe to deserve such a wonderful woman as Tiffany.  She has supported and cared for me like you would not imagine.  I know she gets tired of it and I know that she wish she didn't have to (we all do), but she never complains even though she could as we all feel the frustration of all of this.  Live is fucking exhausting enough without all the issues.

Well, I am done bitching.

I love you all!

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