When you wish upon a star... April 15, 2023


 I have realized that I am somewhat bored with everything.  Seriously, the internet bores me, social media (which is the internet) bores me, my games bore me, I have no real motivation about much of anything at the moment.  I have been trying to learn Java, but the class starts out way too rudimentary for me.  I need to find something that excites me, but I am having a hard time.

I usually start gardening about now, but even that doesn't have my attention.  I guess I am a little depressed about money, about cancer, etc...  The cancer has me nervous as I never really know my status.  I suppose I am just going to have to enjoy life from scan to scan for the rest of it.  Watching Jason go down so quickly has been somewhat depressing (Jason is a fellow CRC sufferer from Canada).

I wonder if this is how all older people feel.  Does life just drag on?  I think if my bowels weren't such a shit show that things might be different for me, but I spend most days (when I am out of the house) terrified I am going to shit myself.

Speaking of that - off to the bathroom.

I love you all!

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