Just the other night at a hometown football game... November 4, 2024


 

Why am I always wearing the green sweatshirt when I decide to write something?  Luck I guess.

I haven't been feeling the best, but part of thinks it is the sedentary attitude I have settled into which I am going to work on today (exercise bike).  I know that I am depressed, but it is hard to get into a happy groove when your brain is just running away with all the bad things that could happen.

I have promised myself that I will start writing every morning again since I can't get outside.  I need to get my UV lamp out and start sitting in front that in the morning while I write this.  I miss my morning summer walks.  The all-mighty powerful gods willing I will be doing it again this summer.  I don't know if I wrote this, but my oncologist couldn't guarantee that I would be able to travel international when I asked him about it a couple weeks ago.  I am trying to not let that settle in, but he is saying he doesn't know what the next 6 months bring.

It has been so hard traveling back and forth to NJ and NYC that we just can't fit in anything fun.  Hard to get someone to watch the dog for a long time as well.  The trips have eaten up most of our money and let's face it most of the time I feel like shit between chemo recovery and surgery recovery (always recovering from something).  Now that I am not recovering right now, I realize that I am not as healthy as I would like to be.

Well, time to get on that bike.

I love you all!

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