If you miss the train I'm on, you will know that I am gone - November 25, 2025



 



 

I really haven't written in a long time.  What has changed, I want to say so much, but it really isn't.  Chemo has kicked the shit out of my insides, I still have cancer, and I have to flip the Peter, Paul, and Mary album :)

You know, I want to complain, but I am mobile, working, able to spend time with and provide for my family.  Am I getting weaker, yep, but I am trying to build my strength back. 

Outside of the bad stuff, everyday something happens that I wouldn't want to miss.  I learn something, I see my children and grandchildren grow up just a little more, and I hear my wife's voice say I love you.  

I have begun to realize that not one material thing that I have matters in comparison to the time I have to watch and hear those that I love.  I suppose that anyone when faced with their own mortality gets to the same conclusion that none of daily grind matters except for the time we have with others.  This is hard for me as I am such a private person - especially when it comes to feelings and emotions.  Lately, it has been hard not to start crying about everything - there is so much to feel and know.  I don't understand how I missed it.  

I have spent so much time controlling my empathy as it overwhelms me at times, that I had cut out a lot of myself trying not to let the world devour me.  Now, I have a hard time stopping all the emotions all at once.

Well, I suppose I should get started with my work day.

I love you all!



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