Somewhere Between a Monkey and a Man

 Well, another week, more chemo.  I suppose at this point I can say I'm better than last treatment.  The chemo messes with my gut, but it isn't as bad as it has been in the past couple so maybe I am getting past this norovirus.  I have been feeling bad about not being a very good husband.  I try to keep up around the house and do my fair share, but I just don't feel like I am showing Tiffany enough love.  I am not sure how I can as she has done so much for me that I can't think of any way that I can give back to her the sacrifices and work she has done for me.  I'm trying. The sunrises have gotten to the point that it is nearly 6 AM before it gets light outside.  This time of year always depresses me.  The evenings are fine as it starts to get cooler and that is great for us sleeping and not running the AC all night, however it signals to they fact that soon we will be locked into the house as no one likes winter here. The gardening is going ok this year.  A lot of

 The morning sun rise is getting pretty close to 6 AM.  The dreaded end of summer is coming and it makes me sad.  How did it get to be the end of July?   I just started to feel a bit better and of course it is time for chemo again.  I am terrified that the chemo is no longer working, but I won't know until late next week as next scans are up.  I think all in all we removed on treatment cycle, but we dropped the pump as it would seem that the chemo was injuring my liver to a point that it is counter productive I guess.  The oncologist commented in his notes that a continued reduction in dosage is not possible as we already have a low dose. Things in the house are going well.  I keep thinking we should be doing more "fun" things, but then I don't know what those are.  I mean I still have to work full time and then we travel to NJ every two weeks, so when would I be doing anything fun.  Takes a good 7 days to recover from chemo, then it is right back at it after one week

 I need to start writing in this blog more often.  I took the picture at the top of the blog yesterday during one of my walks.  The weed is growing well and luckily yesterday's storm didn't hurt the plant as it was blowing really hard.  I need to tie up the larger of the plants to keep it from getting injured accidentally. So things have been going ok.  My gut just always seems to hurt any more.  I'm not sure if it is the chemo, the cancer, or just all of that shit combined, but it makes me grumpy most of the time.  I really haven't felt well in a long time (months).  There are times I get spurts of energy or where I feel ok, but most of the time I am dizzy and my stomach is cramping.  Not to mention the pain in my right side which feels a lot like the original pain that brought me to the doctor 2.5 years ago.  I fear the liver tumors are no longer under control, but I won't know until August 1st (ish). I find that I am now almost always dehydrated regardless of wha

 It has been such a long time since I have written and that is probably because my mornings are spent outside gardening and wandering.  Anything but work, you know?  Things have taken a bit of a turn and my oncologist's notes are beginning to talk about management more than curative items.  Not that he ever said cure, but you can read between the lines. The inevitable happened and I picked up a virus.  The stomach flu (norovirus) of all things.  Just what the guy with bad insides needed.  I ended up in the hospital a couple of times due to dehydration and I think I am past it now, but I had to have it for about a month or more. Things around the house are good, I have the gardening going well and have expanded beyond the raised beds and I am moving into landscaping.  I am trying to make hardy zone 5 flowering landscaped to attract the bees and other pollinators to the yard.  My grapes and blackberries are doing ok, but I am battling the shit out of the Japanese beetles this year.