I didn't hear you leave... January 5, 2024
Say goodbye to this hair today, because today I am cutting it all off. My kids have never seen me with hair so I thought this would show them my red locks. I didn't tell anyone that, but I just don't feel like I have had enough time with them. With anyone. I spend so much of my life trying to be alone, comfortable with it, that I didn't realize how much I needed others. Maybe a bit too late. As you can see I am struggling a bit. My most recent scans came back pretty bad. I haven't had chemo in a while, but even the liver that they just ablated had 3 new tumors. I also look like I have abdominal lymph node involvement as well. I can't stop crying this morning, and maybe that's what I need. I'm so tired of being strong and humble, and I just want to scream and understand why me. It took me so long to find my way home, was it too much to ask that I have more than 24 years to enjoy it. Enough about me. I worry so much ...